Kwikset Back / Orange Sky, Yellow Tree TrunkI am feeling really good about the day. I started on a sour note of my own making, being irritated about having to manage to ensure the return of my debit card from Tommy, which he needed to borrow yesterday, and it fell on me to remember to chase it down and get it back. I'm not a fan of adding to my plate, of late. I anticipated disrespect, disregard and just plain dissing, but he was responsive and responsible. It ended up being left at Panorama, and I got it back. It was interesting to dissect the process later with Jen, reflecting on triggers, anticipation based on experience, and the welcome surprise of cooperation. I fear at times I'm too quick to react, while others that I'm too tolerant and forgiving. There's a balance somewhere between that would be easier to find if the scales were not constantly tipping. I had some excellent meetings throughout the morning, including my 2nd "Product Status," where my revamped approach was met with appreciation. AtticElite came to survey the needs and gave me an initial quote that was later reduced after I pointed out some square footage anomalies and pressed for better pricing. I will lock in and schedule once I confirm it's not stupid to do before the kitchen cabinets are replaced, and the pantry is removed. I took a short break and pulled the 2nd attempt at the Kwikset Smart Lock. Conceptually, it's a dream. In reality, at least for me, it's been a nightmare. The 2nd installation was infuriating and only done to get the HomeKit version installed for automation it subsequently failed to do. It also kept locking when it should not. The unreliability and noise it made were enough for me to say "fuck it" for the time being. I'll revisit the idea when higher priority needs are managed. I also wrestled with the thermostat but stopped fighting a losing battle after numerous failed attempts to replicate what works at Matson. It's often ironic that I might spend 60 minutes trying to save 15-30 seconds a day at best. I took Lauren to SRC to visit Linda. She was asleep, woke, greeted us in return, and was primarily quiet but did make eye contact. I tested out a report that she would 'sing along to "Take It Easy," and sure enough, she did! Not perfectly or accurately, but following along in time with the words. I thought that was fascinating because it shows long-term memory AND the capabilities to engage and "speak" (sing) ahead. At the same time, questions are seldom answered with more than one or two words. It's something I hope to talk to Silva about tomorrow. The whole situation remains heartbreakingly sad and tragic. At times, tonight being one of them, I look into her eyes and try my best to comprehend consciously and acknowledge the moment along with the reality that she will never get better, never recover, never leave that building. That this is "it." After almost 11 months, her condition's a hard reality, and terminal significance has been softened by her continued presence, along with patterns and routines that have made this the "new normal." But it's not, and she will be gone forever in the likely near future. I do all I can to keep that in mind. Even though we know it will happen, it won't make it easier when it does. The progress on the house clearing has helped in many ways. Jen's been so understanding and supportive of all of us, and even she expressed an awareness of the sadness of this as she helps us go through somebody else's life and all the possessions. It's an incredibly sobering experience. It makes me appreciate not only the experiences I shared with Linda regardless of the negatives and difficulties, but it makes me look at my kids and Jennifer with a far greater appreciation than I knew I could have. And the same for every day. Well, I still have shitty ones for most days, and hey, that's ok. I am grateful to work with the people I work with. There are so many dedicated, bright, enthusiastic and committed players on this team. I can't talk credit for their character, but I do like to think the environment I have fostered all these years, almost 11, has played a part.
Health: Weight: 160 (0) 7d avg: 159.925w (-0.14) | Steps: 7566 | Heart Rate: 59