Yesterday and today were spent focused on cleaning the garage at Panorama. I don't know quite how to process all that brings with it. As I said to Mark and Wendy after dinner tonight, it's a mix of Sad, Glad, Mad, and Seuss. I sincerely struggle with this all, the range of emotions, the loss and sadness of somebody I spent the majority of my life with dying in this way, the nightmare of dealing with the tons of crap left behind, the options this gives me to bring my children into a healthier scenario and to have my future more stabilized…. It's often overwhelming and more than I can process. Like now. The day was the most productive to date because Jen and Tommy helped me get past the inclination to feel everything has value and just let go and let it go. I made sure we kept everything I know that has legacy and emotional history for them, and for me. And I feel good having posted free items on CL and having them quickly taken. At least those things will be used and appreciated. Still, I'm honestly melancholy and sad at the transitions taking place. In simple terms it's fucked no matter what.
Habits & Routines: Mediation Presence Gratitude Calm Action Friendship Family Exercise Weight↔︎