I struggled to wake up this morning. I struggled hard. Yes, ascending alarms help when they work, and yes, a gradually brightening room helps too. But for whatever reason, there is, I had a difficult time rising. I think the 'hibernate' aspect of human nature is putting up a fight. But up I got, and out I went, too. I forced a 2-mile walk, sans Lauren, who was sleeping, and it was the right choice as was leaving my AirPods and just taking the time for myself. I thought about my career path, preferences, and options. And I took action on some communications that may or may not shape 2022 for me. I visited Linda and worked from her room, allowing me to talk to the hospice nurse. I ran to the bakery that Wendy got the cinnamon bread from and ordered a loaf and pumpkin pie for pickup tomorrow. I learned that Linda's legal debt is blocking my refinance, so I have to talk to Kathy about that tomorrow. I hope that goes well, but I guess if it does not, I don't refinance. That's that. It could be worse. Tommy worked on refurbishing the weights and equipment and has done a fantastic job so far. Jen and I finally started watching Ted Lasso, and I like it. It's right up my alley, as many friends have said, which in itself is a profound compliment. I had a good text exchange with my friend whose estranged husband recently died, and it struck me how the path I'm on, and she's on, will become more commonplace. It's a recurring thought, I know, but it's genuine and realistic. It's also inspiring as to how I want to act and function. Melissa called and left a message while I was at Linda's bedside, but I have not had an opportunity to call her back. And I have a feeling that will be a challenging call, but I'm compelled to follow through regardless. Jen said tonight that I spend so much time trying to get ahead of any possible scenario that I can't just relax. I think there's some truth to that. Maybe this whole refinance is a good example and an opportunity to let things play out as they may. But, 15+ years of feeling responsible for anticipating every scenario is hard to shake overnight.
Habits & Routines: Mediation Presence Gratitude Calm Action Friendship Family Exercise Weight↓
