Stayed last night at Jon & Cneryl's with Jen and Scottie while she dog sits. Didn't sleep well. Hope to sleep better tonight. In part, it's because of the change in environment and not feeling 'home'. In part it's because of the weight of all that's been going on these past couple of days. It's starting to get more intense and the challenges and complexities of trying to connect and communicate with her are draining and depressing me. She's made just a comment or two, showing some degree of venerability and awareness, but it's fleeting and seemingly impossible to cut through. I've tried to use eye contact, touch, and words to give her the opportunity to talk more directly about things but, especially when the kids are there, it's very difficult to do so. I responded to a request from Kathy to access photos of the kids in their youth and doing so opened a window into a deeper realization that the coming years, holidays, and such, will be missing her presence. Jesus, I hope she makes it to their 18th birthday. I'm going to start reminding her about it. Jennifer and I were talking about how her brother's completely ignored this, not contacted her at all, and is going camping this weekend. Jen's more sad and upset and impacted by this than her own flesh and blood. Amazing. And from what I know and believe, he's punishing her as he did his niece and nephew last year when they buried their brother, over the fact that I'm with Jennifer now. Something neither of them had a part in. I just don't get it. It's weird not being with the kids last night and tonight. I think it's good, actually, for them to have that time and space at this age, but it's still weird. There was a school email that came asking me to update student info. Although I left Linda's primary info I removed her phone details and updated the emergency contact info to Jen. That too drove home the reality. I shared the Twilight Zone "Nothing In The Dark" with Jennifer. It's always been a favorite but it hit a deeper chord and nerve than ever before. Tomorrow I'm going to be meeting Kathy at SRC to talk about if/when/how she might be able to move to the Medical Care wing. Or if they're going to try and get Kathy to move her elsewhere. I have a proposal for that option that we've talked about. Tomorrow will be another milestone in this journey. August has only begun and my 18th birthday plans for them are all but scrapped. This is going to be a tough month, no matter what.