I'm not sure my new am routine is working. I'm not getting time to meditate like I used to and that was valuable time. I need to make that happen again. Today was massively fragmented. I saw how bald Tommy's tires were and they had to be replaced ASAP. There was zero tread. I told him I would buy the two replacements from Costco. They called about a nail in the sidewall of one of his good tires and they mistook his acknowledgment that he'd need to get two new tires as agreement to do so now. AND they only had THREE of his tires so they put the space saver on the front right. WTF? They are so rigid and this was a total snafu. I'm glad in the end that he has/will have 4 new tires but I ended up coughing up $877. They gave him good tires and the 4 tire discount but I'm just unhappy that he's still only invested $2k at this point and who knows wha's next. Fucking money pit POS IMHO. I wish he'd never bought it and I wish I'd never agreed to help in the first place, this is completely insane and who knows what'll crop up next. FUCK! Oh and he has to get Classic Car wash to pay for the damage their was did to his car – he noticed it and went to them and pressed and they showed him the security footage and damn if it's not totally there - drove in fine, and then the loose screws on a bad part hit is and several others cars too. He/I went and say Linda after dropping the car at Costco earlier, then I took Lauren at 6pm and we had an opportunity to have some brief exchanges with her, and got Kathy D on the phone with her as well. The nurse said she ate 100% of her dinner. Although she was groggy and shrugging with words but it was still one of more gratifying visits. I did very little I was expecting to do today and have a real cop on my shoulder right now. I'm angry and bitter and irritated and pissed off. I tried to take a stab at cleaning Pano more and that's a total fucking nightmare scenario. It's not possible and should NOT fall on me to clean and clear her fucked up hoarding of so much shit. I hate being there but I also want to have a part in deciding what goes in the trash or what might be something her kids or family might want. But it's infuriating and it's all coming back to me. I'm so angry at her, angry at feeling Tommy doesn't appreciate my dropping $877 on him for his safety, and ht's not going to be able to pay insurance tomorrow. WTF!?! WHY AM I HAVING TO MANGE ANY OF THIS SHIT?!? I"m ready to just drive into a wall at this point. This is not sustainable.
