After last night's tense interaction w/Tommy, I resolved to put more time into taking care of my own needs over everybody else's. Got up early, walked 2m while listening to the 5 Invitations. The situation with Linda continues to occupy my waking thoughts, simply from the sudden shock, the recognition of the reason for weeks or more of anomalies, and of course more than anything else, the prognosis. It's an awful situation that regardless of my own frustrations and experiences, I'd not wish on her or the kids. Lauren and I picked up the doors and it looks like it'll likely cost me ~$500 or more to just get them painted and hung. That's over $1k now on 3 fucking doors. Yet in the big picture it's going towards making things far more pleasant at Panorama. The flooring is in, too, and it looks great. I picked up hinges and door knobs w/Lauren so everything's there for tomorrow. By EOW it should be complete. Tommy was pretty evasive most of the day which, after last night, I get, and I'm giving him space. Passed along a bottle of Screwball Whiskey to Mark, enjoyed a glass myself while watching/listening to Simply Red concerts on YouTube, which really feeds my soul. I love music and it's almost spiritual to revisit some of my historical musical milestones like this. It's part diversion, part reflection, part immersiion. With all that's going on around me, including my mom's own struggles as well as Linda's, the need to at least feel each day is lived with something that makes me appreciate being alive, be it a morning walk in the rain, playing with the dogs, telling Jen I love how she's so supportive of my kids through this, or chilling with some samba beats in a YouTube concert video, feels … conscious.