Head-butt this AM over attitude and tone resulted in my bailing on taking Tommy to the gym. I still got my walk in, w/Lauren, just locally. The issue was a stupid one, my getting puled once more into something that s/be resolved between he and his mom, but the way he talks to me, dismisses my earnest efforts to remind him of an obligation and responsibility to address commitments and obligations before self interest, falls on deaf ears. Deep down I think he knows full well what the right choices are, but there's baggage and pride in the way. I'm backing out again, leaving it alone, and moving onward. Lauren's doing so well in school and her reflections this morning on our walk as to her own desires to pursue her goals and not just settle gave me a strong appreciation for her individuality and independence. Today's my niece Lindsey's birthday and I sent her and her sister Marissa an audible gift – The Rebecca Solnit book "Recollections of My Nonexistence". She's a wonderful writer and I see something in this that might resonate for them both, and something they'll share in conversation too. Hopefully. I'll likely share w/my mom too once she's done w/other books. She, like me, is working through The Promised Land. It's great but long and blocking my reading queue! Heh. There is just SO MUCH to read, to write, to watch. It's overwhelming. I finished watching "Mank" tonight and I really enjoyed it. The very subtle peppering of homages to the film and that era, from background birds on the San Simeon property to the 'reel change' indicator flashing in the upper left corner, the overlapping dialog of the Mercury Theater players and the high contract deep focus shots all struck me as very loving nods to a defining era and film. Enjoying the latest TS drop of "evermore", with surprising appreciation. Vijktoria came to hand with Lauren tonight, it's nice seeing in them a friendship I had with friends of my own at that age. Finally got Tommy lined up for driving training starting Monday and I will be happy to have him more independent, yet, it'll be conflicting with my regrets that he will move ahead to start his own life an likely be less involved with us. As it should be, yes, but hard all the same. I feel like we're not 'done' but perhaps that'll never happen until he's had time on his own. As was the case for me, only, that awareness came too late. Maybe that's what I fear for them the most. Not closing the circle.