I'm in a shitty mood. Work started great, but went right into chaos mode with multiple 'fires' cropping up just as we finished spent planning. Then I started wrestling with MSOffice accounts and, I won't go into it here, but it's just a frickin' mess. We're always wrestling with shortcuts or intentional processes that prevent stumbling over it later. I'm stumbling over something that was a shortcut. Tommy was here all day and he was great. Really great. I still have to get out of the habit of anticipating annoyance and be more grateful to have him here at all. I get annoyed at the daily request to take him to the gym, but I assume it's not appreciated when it is or will be in time. AND it's time with him I will miss someday. So, I guess I just answered my "I'll let you know" response to him asking just before bed, again. Meanwhile, Lauren's not here as she's with her mom at the hotel while more work is done on the Panorama bathrooms. Hopefully she's be able to come tomorrow and/or Sat PM instead of Sunday. New doorbell arrived and installed. Eddie Van Halen died today. Did'nt hit me at first but maybe that was my shitty mood getting in the way. Beyond the grudge I have held since the day he took Valerie out of circulation, and some of the light shed on his behavior and lifestyle in Sammy Hagar's book, it strikes me that he was only 6 years older than me, and yet another person who was influential in my lifespan and generation, is gone. I've also been thinking lately about my effort to learn, and the responsibility that comes with it. If I want to learn about history, the mind, meditation, and mindfulness, what will I do with it from there? Will I just learn it, remember what I can, forget the rest and move onto something else? Or... am I going to do something with it? Pass it on? Expand on it? Add my voice to a vast chorus? The obvious choice is the latter. It's my responsibility. Perhaps it's my purpose, too. There's gotta be one out there, somewhere, right?