I'm in an interesting position. My wife and I talked last night about her desire to provide the kids with some sort of spiritual exposure. Given my rather open and firm stance against organized religion on the whole, she's had to compromise a great deal of her own needs and desires for a spiritual routine, and along with that, she's concerned that the kids have limited exposure to moral teaching, golden rules, or anything of a spiritual nature when the only source is within our home. We don't have any routine practice or make any conscious effort to consistently do so.
In addition, the topic of private schools came up, one option being Catholic schools, of which she herself is an alumni. From what she, and a couple of my close friends have told me, there's really little/no religious dogma pushed or forced on the students, and the benefits, for them at least, greatly outweigh any drawbacks. I know at least two 'non believers' that are paying to send their kids to Catholic schools and they're fine with it. I'm on the fence, as doing so at this age seems a bit premature.
In addition, there's a requirement of Baptism, which really bothers me, as it's, IMHO, a completely idiotic requirement and ritual. I am dumbstruck to imagine that anybody really believes that the act of immersion in water under the right circumstances somehow means anything at all in this world or the next. It's inane, which in this case, is "insane" with a silent 's'. I mean, come on, now... really. The act has no more meaning or bearing then having been the last one tagged "it" during the last hide 'n seek game I ever played. I've not since walked through life forever "it", just as many, many people raised in religious situations have not spent their life being Christians or Catholic's simply because of a baptism. I know it means nothing, but in the grand scheme of things, I find it incredibly frustrating, then, to support and participate in a pointless act of compliance.
I'm reminded of one of my favorite analogies: a story of a woman who, when cooking a ham, always cut the ends of the ham off. When asked by her husband as to why she did this, she said "I don't know... my mother always did so I have too.". Curious as to why, the husband calls his mother-in-law to ask about it, and she says the same thing as her daughter did. "It's how I learned to cook a ham from my mother.". The son contacts his wife's grandmother, and when asked about the practice, she simply says "my baking pan was too small."
Now, I had my upbringing, with minimal involvement in religion, and my wife's was similar, but with a bit more early adolescent experience, primarily through having attended a catholic high school and making catholic friends. But she's not attached to any religion or belief system either. If I had to summarize it from my point of view, she's spiritual, but not religious. She believes there's something more and something greater then just our physical presence and being, but she's not convinced that any belief system properly or completely represents it. She's far from an atheist. Perhaps she is a very very moderate agnostic but only in the sense of any one religion having the absolute answer as to what might be going on.
We've tried, a couple of times, to look into Unitarian churches over the years, but those either integrate fundamental religious beliefs within the context of "any and all faiths are represented', or they are way to "out there", wherein the smell of pachouli incense fill the room while drum circles and gregorian chants take the place of organ music, choirs and the congregation reciting "Lord be with you" in rote fashion.
It seems that there's really nothing, at this point, in our society, that provides a routine opportunity for a sense of community , teachings of core human values, and exposure to the concepts of spirituality without being tied to a religion. I can't consider going along with something I absolutely do not believe in simply to gain the benefits that might come with it, or to discount the negative aspects as well. If I was able to make that compromise, I'd already be a Mormon.
Our kids are closing in on 5 years old. My wife's desire is to introduce them to spiritual ideas and the general teaching of moral practices. She's not talking about bible classes or any religious teachings or discussions at home or outside of a weekly visit to a church. I can't say I object to that idea completely, because it's an eventuality that they'll be exposed to religion in many other ways, but I struggle with the fact that they're as young as they are, they're still impressionable, subject to taking fantasy as reality, considering an adult an authority figure without question, and subject to fears that may be incorporated into a sermon.
I recognize that there's two parents involved, that my wife's gone without a sense of spirituality for many years, and the options are highly limited. I'm willing to let her give it a shot and see how it goes. But I'm not completely sure how I feel about it right now.
