Tuning Out: A Playlist and Parting Words

It was around 7 years ago, if memory serves me well, that my ex-wife's friend, a neighbor just two houses up the street, stood in our dining room and asked us what three songs we'd want to be played at my funeral. It was just one of those random 'conversational' questions, the sort that you might expect to find on a random party game card, or uttered by Bob Eubanks. But it resonated and has stuck in my mind since.

I'd already had the answers consciously tucked away in the 3.5" index card file of my mind. I knew what they were. And for future reference, hopefully, long-future reference, I'm capturing them here and asking that any/all of my friends and family that might survive me ensure they are honored.

I'll not attempt to explain the choices. I'll leave it to interpretation.

• The Wind by Cat Stevens
• Do You Realize? by The Flaming Lips
• The Great Gig In The Sky by Pink Floyd
• Your Life Is Now by John Mellencamp

Also, upon my death, I would like the following wishes to be respected and executed.

If there is a use for any organ transplants, start there. Then it's up to my surviving partner, friend Matt C,  or my mother, then my kids if they're 18+, then my brother, to make further decisions about what happens to what's left. My preference would be a 'green burial' wherein I'm returned to the earth in a natural fashion without such wasteful things as a casket or any other funeral-industry fan-fare and billing. I had wanted once to be cremated but as I think it over, it's wasteful. I'd rather be reabsorbed from whence I came.

My Final Words (written July 23, 1998 and valid to this day)

I understand this is a time of mourning and of loss, but it's also a time to feel joy. We're all going to die, but we don't all get the chance to experience love and friendships.

Think of these good things; that we did have time together, did know each other, and hopefully made each other's time here something special. 

My desires for any 'memorial' would be a casual gathering in my remembrance, perhaps a big potluck BBQ of my favorite foods, outdoors if possible, or taking over a big room in a casual pizza parlor or a friend's home, where everybody can wander and talk to everybody else.

Share stories, photos and anything else you have that reminds you of me or something we shared. Support and uplift each other. Mingle, greet old friends, meet and make new ones. I ask you to recognize that this is a natural stage of life, that I am as sad as you that we are apart but equally glad that you're here, and that we had a valued relationship. Use this experience to start a habit of consciously recognizing that each day you awake may be your last, and live that day as if it were.

- Geoff