I’m feeling a bit stupid about grabbing my photos today. Maybe not stupid but bad. Maybe both. When I dropped the kids off, I used the opportunity to enter the house and see their dog and fish to also bolt to back bedroom, grab the key to my file box in the garage, and grab it. It’s become a real need for me to get it. It has a letter and post card from my dad, as well as a slew of photos, negatives and so many other things I want back for personal reasons.
I’m glad I got it but after mentioning it to Jen and discussing if it was the right thing to do, I started feeling bad. Like, even if she had things in my house for some reason, and has a key, would I feel ‘violated’ if I found out she came in without my agreement when we are supposed to arrange one each time, which I typically adhere to?
I think it’s totally unreasonable that she seems to avoid me or my coming into the house, seeing the kids fish or the dog is a coordinated event. I’m not out to snap photos and disclose the hoarding (I’ve plenty of those) and I’m not looking to take something that’d be disputed or is needed. Christ, I left everything including tools and other items for that very reason. They’d be needed.
But at the same time, the ‘what’ is not the issue. Or the ‘why’. The bothersome aspect of my action is understandable. And it’s in our agreement. Impatience and impulse aside, going in without consent violated our agreement.
I’m hoping it’s not going to surface as an issue. I don’t know if the kids will say anything and I don’t like them having to be involved too, which is another reason I’ve always stepped lightly and stuck to the car. But if it comes up and gets thrown in my face I’ll have to ride it out and admit the mistake.
I don’t know that she’d do the same were the tables turned.