While discussing work, family and life-in-general over beers with some good friends a couple of weeks ago, the topic of my 12 year old son's burgeoning interest in all things WWII arose. It did so in part because of our looming plans to attend an upcoming exhibition of WWII planes at Moffett Field, at which a "B25 Mitchell" would be present. But his interest in the war spans more then just his name-based association with a bomber used in battle. He's become increasingly curious about the history and events, asking lots of questions and sharing some of his own knowledge and thoughts as well. I mentioned his having watched some of the classic war-movies like "The Great Escape", and others. And I posed the question to them, all fathers themselves, as to if they'd consider "Band of Brothers" too much for a 12 year old.
It was a great discussion. Opinions were mixed. We all agreed "Saving Private Ryan" would be too much. But after a bit of back-and-forth discussion about the violence in Movie like "The Hobbit" and "Lord of the Rings" (which they've seen with my approval) and TV shows like "The Walking Dead" (which my son watched most definitely without my approval), the issue about the depictions was less of an issue then initially thought. Yet the power of the truth behind the violence, the history of the events, and the humanities involved throughout are the differentiators. Would you want a 12 year old to watch a dramatic re-creation, in agonizing detail, of war?
Just a few days later, after having attend the plane exhibit, my two children were with me at my apartment and my son started looking for more war movies online. Band of Brothers came up. I gave it one last thought and said "I'll tell you what - we'll watch the 1st episode, I'll watch it with you, completely present and engaged, no tech-distractions, hand on the remote, and we will talk about it before and after."
This was last weekend. I lead into this 10-episode commitment on the heals of having just visited the war planes exhibit where we met and listened to the stories of a B-24 pilot with a double-digit WWII missions under his belt, and Memorial Day on the horizon. I let them know it would be graphic and intense and upsetting, and that, in context, it should be.
The 1st episode was an establishing one, where characters were introduced and developed against the backdrop of intense training, ending as the sky filled with hundreds of planes heading to Normandy. I took them home and learned the next day that they were watching the subsequent episodes without me, which I summerly put to an immediate end. Over the course of the week we made time to completed it, concluding today, the day before Memorial Day. And as the 9th episode ended, one centered on the liberation of the war camps, my son looked at me and said "I've never seen you cry". I don't actually think that that is true, but I had been.
After completing the final episode, I emphasized how horrible what took place was and how unacceptable the idea is that any group of people make decisions about another race or faiths right to live. I explained how wars had been fought before and since with many different origins, but this particular war, this particular time in our history where people like those we saw portrayed, those that died and those that lived on with physical and emotional scars for the rest of their lives, stood for principles of honor to protect and defend people in need of their help against an evil and horrific force. And in conclusion, I told them of Santayana's quote "Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it."
My 12 year old son came up to me, unsolicited, and for the first time I can remember, gave me a hug from which he didn't pull back from. I let go before he did. I believe the intensity my own response to the series had as much if not more of an impact on him then the show itself.
I've written before about Memorial Day, my kids, and even my looming plans to watch "Band of Brothers". Back in 2008 I wrote a post titled "But We In It Shall Be Remember'd". In it, I indicated that the kids were intentionally being exposed to things in order to "gain an understanding and appreciation for the history and purpose behind the day". I've added to the option this year, I've up'd the intensity, and I think it's going to be something they retain. I'm reasonably confident now that in time, they'll carry forth that the point of the day isn't about having a picnic in a free and diverse society, but the history behind them having the freedom to do so.