Because I'm Good Enough.... I'm Smart Enough...

I returned to work today, as did everybody else, evidenced by the 1.5hr commute time I opt'd out of until after 10.30am. But even with reduced traffic, the morning's work and the multiple tasks and emails and IM'd action items all coming at me at once made it clear... i'm back in the deep end, and the stress is right there, circling around me, waiting for the chance to take hold and start thrashing me about.
I want to start making much better use of my time. I want to restore the view and mindset that I walked out of the re-hab hospital with last February. It's so distant, and it was and is the most essential life lesson and experience I've ever had. Far from "near-death", certainly, but spot on for "near-debilitation". Forgetting that humbling experience and the insight it gave me into the levels of stress I allow my self to get caught up in would be a huge oversight.

As I was on the phone on my drive into work this morning, bitching about the demands on me to a friend in the tech sector, all they could say was "that sounds like a lot to manage". That made me pause and reflect. As I talked it out, I realized that it's nothing I can get out of, it's something I have to mange, and mange better. Just like the other areas of my life. I need to keep making continues improvements, learn new ways of delegating, and improve my focus, time management and prioritization skills. Execute to a plan. Be proactive, instead of reactive.

I need to get help. Help improving my management of the tasks of being a VP, evolving a team and their processes while responding to a huge range of needs and expectations. Help being as knowledgable and proactive and fair and reasonable as I can while I navigate a divorce. Help to stay calm and effective as I juggle the emotional needs of my twins through this change. Help being considerate yet clear, compassionate yet firm, and learning to bend but not break through the negotiations that lie ahead with somebody I spent 12+ years with, and now have to detached from with grace and kindness while hopefully maintaining a peaceful and respectful relationship.

I'm working on integrating a few improvements into my daily routines. Nothing too big. January for me is about reducing and refining, not adding.

My solution: I'm going to pull together some health/inspirational podcasts to listen to in the morning while getting ready for work. Just a few, nothing too long. I'll be looking to touch on spirituality, health, mindfulness, positive affirmations. I'm going to setup an "am commute" set covering goal setting or management, as well as a "pm" set for parenting or personal growth. I'm certain it'll make a difference for the better.