My wife and I have an ongoing "joke" about the fact that every time she drives my car, it's on empty. It's not true. In fact, every time I put in gas, with only the rarest of exceptions, I fill it up. Then I drive it until the warning light turns on and do it again. So it's either pure random coincidence that the majority of time she drives it falls at a point where it's getting to the bottom of the tank. In any event, it's with great trepidation that I give her the keys, on both of our parts.
The important word in this post's title is not "empty", it's "running". Because that is what I seem to be doing every time I get in my car. I'm running. Running late. Running to work with only a moment to spare, if even that. Running directly home because I've yet again been side tracked by a late meeting or hallway inquiry that prevents me from making it home at the 'usual' time. In fact, every time I ever do stop for gas, I do so when I'm already late for wherever I was heading.
I'm tired of running. I'm tired of having to work every morning, aggressively throughout the day and into the evening again at home. I'm tired of not sleeping, which only makes me all the more exhausted and irritable. I'm tired of demands on my time that are violently colliding with each other. I've even been recently challenged by my management about the work on my plate and the focus I put into completing it. If only they knew how full my plate really is.
I'd like to be everything to everybody. I'd like to be the friend that helps fix computers, gets iPod deals, shares movies, or just replies to personal emails in a timely fashion. I'd like to be the father that does not get irritated when my kids wake up and come into our room for the 3rd time in the middle of the night and interrupt the limited sleep I do get. I'd like to be able to have taken a summer vacation and spend time relaxing with my family instead of having to battle with work about my rights and need for a break or to have to face the disappointment at home when vacation has been denied. I'd like to be the husband that takes time to watch a movie without feeling a panic about the fact that the rushing waters are moving me further down the river from the rapids I'm trying to swim over. I'd like to find time to follow up on medical appointments that are becoming essential for my heath and well being. I'd like to feel that everybody isn't standing around, tapping their foot, glancing repeatedly at their watch and wondering what I'm doing instead of being where they expect me and doing what they expected, and I'd like to have the patience and fortitude to start saying 'no' to requests or needs without feeling bad because, ultimately, if I just try harder, I could probably say 'yes'.
I'd also like to understand how other's appear to easily manage while I continually struggle.
Oh, and I'd like world peace.