Don't ask me why, because I really have no idea myself, but the other day, this very funny memory came to mind. And with absolutely no reason. I'll relate the story shortly, but for a moment, I want to focus on it's recollection. It came out of nowhere, with no 'trigger' to bring it to the foreground. It was just there. Now, I don't know about you, but when random memories start popping up with absolutely no prompt or point of reference, I start to wonder if the wiring is shorting out. It's as if all the index cards of my memories are neatly filled away in the memory cabinet, alphabetized, cross referenced and color coded for easy retrieval, yet for some reason, this one slipped out and dropped on the floor when I was clear across the room.
It freaks me out a little. I'll be watching for more occurrences, and if they start increasing, i'll bump up the memoirs entries, see an Alzheimer's doctor, and likely find myself writing reminders and notes all over my body, ala "Memento", before I forget them a few minutes later.
Anyway, what was I saying? Oh yeah...
The Funny Memory:
When I was in my early 20's, a few friends and I went to a local amusement park, "Great America", where they would routinely setup a makeshift stage in a portion of the park/parking lot for their summer concerts. I don't recall who was performing, probably somebody like "The Greg Khin Band", "Gamma", or some other group that'd likely not sell out anything larger. But it wasn't the band we went for, it was just something to do together for the fun of it.
They had a gate and checkpoint as you entered, at which you'd have to hand over your ticket, and subsequently be subject to a pat-search. Back then, the point of the search was not the removal of your arsenal of weaponry, or the confiscation of your glow-sticks and ecstasy. No, back in my day, alcohol and recording devices were the big taboo, and neither of which was easily snuck past a security checkpoint, due more to their size, then to the savviness of the security staff.
We didn't have either on us, we were just there for the show. So we walked in, handed our tickets over, and headed through the checkpoint. My friend Matt was the first thru, then myself, then another friend behind me.
After Matt got a quick once-over, I stepped into position. The security "guard" was a woman just about my same age, perhaps a few years older. I don't recall her being strikingly beautiful or frighteningly hideous, she was just an average girl in an average outfit doing an average job of looking for hidden beer and tape recorders. So I stood there, arms slightly outstretched, legs shoulder width apart, and tried not to think about feeling tickled. My sides and back were patted, then my calves, then my thighs, them my...
...HELLO!
It all happened in an instant, and before I was able to completely comprehend it, I was shuffling forward to my waiting friend. But it did happen, and there was no mistaking it's being intentional. This was not some casual, accidental finger-nail sized oversight. This was a full on, pre-meditated, firmly applied "nice to meet you" greeting... I almost instinctively turned and coughed. It took several moments of light-headed, head-tilting eye-blinking thought before it all settled in and I realized that I'd just been groped. She brought a whole new meaning to "Search and Seizure".
It was surreal. And I felt so.... dirty.
OK, not really, I actually wanted to go back through the line again. Not that I was so obsessed with the experience that I had to relive it, I just wanted to confirm that it actually did happen.
As I approached my friend who'd already gone through the line, I started to say "you'll never guess what just happened", but as I did, his lips moved in unison with my words. He was saying the same thing to me. We looked at each other, exclaimed "no way!" and turned to see our 3rd friend walking towards us, looking a bit befuddled, and saying "you'll never guess what just.....".
