I frequently find myself lamenting that I’ve not “accomplished something important” with my life so far. I’ve not made a massive dent in the universe, per se. I’ve not made a significant contribution. I had a dream many years back that I’d write a prize winning book filled with social commentary and humorous observations, but that has yet to happen. I play a minor roll in helping to make the world a better place for Macintosh users, but I’m a relatively small cog in a very large machine. I took the idea of photographic confetti and helped build a business out of it, but it was short lived, and only a few of the thousands who gazed in amazement when they saw their lives spread out on a party table before them will ever know a thing about who the idea came out of, let alone the personal and financial sacrifices of all those who believed in the possibilities. Next, if all goes well, I might make yet another dash at something substantial, but it’s too early to talk about it, because as we all know that’d just Jinx it, right? Right.
Yet tonight, while cleaning up my email inbox and following up on some communications with family, I stumbled across the following on my Niece Marissa’s myspace page, in her “Heroes” section:
…My uncle Geoff for the breath-taking inspiration he throws out to the world and because he believed in me and encouraged me when I found it the hardest to.
Marissa was my test-daughter in many ways. She and I became close when she was in her late teens. When I’d go visit my brother in Lathrop she’d often hitch a ride back to the Bay Area with me, where we’d talk about life, philosophy, family, or just crank up “Stone Temple Pilots” so loud that our fillings would loosen.
It was a great time and a great opportunity to get a small sample of what being a ‘father figure’ or an influential adult might be. In fact, when she’d written a beautiful story for me and about me (she’s a great writer, and I still have it as a prized possession) for my birthday a few years back, my brother also thanked me for having been there for her in ways he’d been unable to at the time.
She’s since moved to Seattle where she’s been living the self-discovery and self-focused life of her 20’s. We hardly ever speak or write. And that’s OK. There’s no distance, just space. And if all goes well she’ll be living back in the area soon enough, and can be involved in the lives of her cousins as they grow up.
So yeah, I’ve lamented not doing something important. Then I read a simple compliment like that and I start to wonder what could be more important than being an inspiration.
She was one for me as well, and the opportunity to have been an inspiration to her played a strong role in the reasons that I’m a father today.