Once again, the end of October brings goblins, ghosts, ghouls and gremlins to our door, in search of sweet treats. Oh, and it brings about the same number of early-teenaged kids wearing their football jersey, or goth makup, looking for a handout. Once again I find myself at work, surrounded by an occasional elf, wizard, warlock, or devil, and I'm forced to return a modest smile or smirk, all the while wondering if they realize that statements made in meetings regarding the urgency of TPS report submissions just lose something in translation when it's delivered by a man in a Klingon costume. These are scary times, scary times indeed.
I don't know about you but sans the relatively simple and subtle inclusion of a set of felt horns on a co-workers head, and of course the attractive coffee bar girl adorning a tightly fitting pirate costume that accentuates her treasure chest, isn't the practice of adults dressing up for Halloween at work pretty much dead? I certainly have seen a consistent reduction in the practice over the many years, and I even recall a time in the early 90's where Apple had a dedicated parade for staff to march about the streets and buildings. But then everybody grew up and put 'work' in the workplace and reserved the play aspects of the holiday for the true observers; the children.
It's a kids holiday, people. I know you want to defend the donning of your dusty and tattered 'Renaissance Fair' costume from that wild summer of yours back in 1989, and I know you want to insist that we're all kids at heart, I need to loosen up, yadda yadda yadda pphpt! Stop struggling to look hip, to look young, and recognize that after the first moment or two of nervous laughter when you appear at the workplace, the remaining portion of the day, the laughter is definitely not in your favor. Let it go.
We took the kids out last night for their first Halloween, to visit a few select friends houses, and to see some family. It's a double edged sword, because there's a very special association with the ritual from my youth, and the glaring social stigma that it now carries; you're not supposed to trust people. That's just plain fucked up. And the reality is, just as you might think.... it's not really like that. it's all an urban legend.
Yes, folks. It's all a hoax. People don't poison kids with Halloween candy. There's an excellent write up on Snopes.com that wonderfully details the myths. So, that story you were told years ago about a friend who's friend bit into an Apple with a razor blade is bunk. Yet, just the 'concept' of doing so, in our culture, makes exercising caution a sad prerequisite, to the degree that Halloween outings for many kids include one final stop at the local hospital for a a quick kit-kat-scan.
And on the topic of Halloween, take a minute or two to review the wikipedia entry for Halloween. It's always fascinating to look at the history behind holidays and traditions, and to and see the evolution from one practice to another. And of course it's always interesting as well when what are called 'Pagan' rituals are redefined, when seasonal celebrations are realigned by the church, and when society's perceptions and/or beliefs adapt accordingly.
Then there's this whole thing about teenaged kids coming to my door. I like the little ones; they're honest, and there's a sense of wonder for them in it, and excitement, and joy. The teens are just there for free candy. It's not about anything else, and you'll have a hard time convincing me otherwise. Now, granted, If you take that same acne-riddled voice-cracking teen and see him scampering about in search of hidden eggs at Easter, or routinely leaping from his bed on Christmas eve to scan the skyline in search of a jolly old man and eight tiny reindeer, i'll cut him some slack. Hell, if they'd just put a modicum of effort into a reasonable effort at a costume I'd be impressed enough to reward the effort, but when a kid just shows up at my door in the later hours, with his a 'Tool' T-Shirt and his father's worn leather toolbelt sagging lower then the jeans already down to his thighs, they lose me.
True Story: Last year, we'd taken our kids to my mom's to hand out candy. Well after the end of the visitors that include the aforementioned teens, there was a knock on the door. The pumpkins had been removed from the patio and there was no 'sign' that we were 'open' for business, as it were, but there was a knock nonetheless. I opened the door and standing on the patio was a sole teenager, probably about 16 or 17, in standard street clothes attire and nothing even vaguely resembling a costume of any kind. Being surprised that anybody knocked at all, when I opened the door and saw him standing there, his hand outstretched, with a vacant look on his face, I figured I'd see if he'd even make an effort to say 'Trick or Treat'. So I stood there in the doorway, no expression, looking at him.
He said nothing. Literally, the kid just stood on my mother's patio, not in costume, hand outstretched, awaiting the typically reflex distribution of a bite-sized butter-finger.
"Yes?" I said, in an effort to prompt him into the simple three word statement.
He stared back for a moment, glanced about the landing, then looked back at me and said "Uh, do you have any candy?"
Without 'losing my cool' I leaned against the door jam, smiled slightly, cocked my head and and said "Dude, what are you thinking? It's late, we're got no pumpkin on our patio, you're way too old to be out here doing this, and you didn't even try and wear a costume? Where's your costume? Sorry man but this is ridiculous.... you're not getting any candy here."
He just stared at me for a moment, smiled slightly and made some half-assed excuse about not having any time to put together a costume. I just look at him, smiling back at the fact that we clearly both knew exactly what was going on, and just laughingly said "Sorry buddy... not gonna happen here... ". To his credit, he simply said 'OK' and shuffled along down the street. He was probably a little more aware of at least looking for a lit pumpkin, let alone rubbing some exhaust stains off a car onto his face and claiming to be a mechanic.
My wife thought it was terrible of me to do that but I honestly did not and do not think it was terrible at all. I wish more people would do so. I wish more people would put out a simple little sign with a ghost extending their hand out that say's "You must be shorter than this sign to trick or treat at this house". I think that if people looked at the half-hearted effort of high school kids out to get free candy and made it clear that they're no longer eligible for those benefits, it might be help return the innocence and mystery to the holiday for not just the kids, but for the families wanting to preserve the tradition.
Did I try and work the system in my teens? Hell yes, I did indeed, making me all the wiser now. My own experiences are exactly why I object to it today. My own experiences are also the reason i'll never let my daughter date before she's 25, or at least not allow her to go unchaperoned to a movie theater serving popcorn in collapsing boxes... but that's another story.