Thursday, August 24, 2006

Do Twins Run In The Family?

Ever since the kids were born, people who find out I have twins usually say one of two things: "Did you do IVF?" and "Do twins run in your family?". My typical response to the first question depends on who's asking, as it's a relatively personal question to be asked by the 17 year old gum-snapping Britney-wannabe sliding a pack of pull-ups over the bar code scanner at Target. The 2nd question is usually answered with "Yes, they run all over the place" or "No, we did IVF". Until now. Until a conversation this morning in which my mom casually mentioned that my father was a twin.




That's right. My father was a twin and I didn't know about it. Or I forgot. As it's been relayed, I was told about it years ago, when I was around 10, but at the time my comprehension was probably limited or my focus was more on fireflies and snow angels. That, or the power-hits I took off a joint from a very attractive girl at a Police concert in 1980 really did have something other then pot in it. In either case, I've been reminded, and it's pretty stunning.




The reason I don't have a stronger recollection of Amelia Louise Mitchell is that they were premature and she [yes, he was a boy twin to a girl sister, just as is my own son] did not survive more than 6 days before passing away. So it's probably nothing that he would have had any conscious memory of, nor would I have any recollection of as a face at our birthday parties or somebody else who'd have been involved in our lives.




Does this make me think that our having twins is genetic? Absolutely not; IVF is IVF, in which one takes a relative gamble and chance at having multiples, and it's a given that this was the cause. Had it not been IVF it'd clearly be a genetic thing.




But, what this does make me consider is, had she survived, how would his life have differed? He'd had a pretty rough childhood... was her passing a contributing factor in any way, direct or indirect? Had she survived, would her presence have made things better, or perhaps worse? And what about my own life; what changes and influences has her not being here caused?




I know, it's a complete unknown, but it does make one pause and think about how each and every minor nuance in your lives, everything from the way you're greeted by a colleague, all the way down to the absence of somebody you never even knew existed, might impact your life in one of many ways, both good and bad.




Take a power-hit and dwell on that for awhile. :-)